


The Best Birthday Of His Life

by Ladderofyears



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Birthday, Breaking Up & Making Up, Broomstick Designer Teddy, Canon Age Difference, Crying, Drunken Confessions, Firecalling, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Loneliness, M/M, Post-Break Up, Regret, Regretful Jamie, Reminiscing, Sharing Clothes, Struggling Jamie, Teddy Lupin is Colourful, Teddy Lupin's Hair Changes According To His Moods, Weasley Jumpers, falling back in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-20
Updated: 2020-04-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23749642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ladderofyears/pseuds/Ladderofyears
Summary: It was April the nineteenth and today was Teddy Lupin’s thirty-first birthday. Today was April the nineteenth and James Sirius Potter was a messy, stumbling drunk and all alone in a flat that was horribly, eerily silent.There ought to be a stack of birthday cards above the hearth, the images on their covers dancing and spinning. There ought to be a steady stream of friends, family and loved ones knocking on their door, bearing armfuls of beautifully-wrapped, enchanted gifts. Mum ought have baked Teddy one of her six-tier birthday cakes, each layer of icing charmed to replicate exact shade of Teddy’s rainbow hair.And Teddy ought to be there, pulling James into his lap at the end of a long, busy day that they’d both enjoyed.“The best birthday of my life,” Teddy ought to have said, brushing a series of chaste kisses across Jamie’s jaw and Jamie would have raised an eyebrow at his lover’s predictability. “They’re the same words you use every year,” Jamie would have joked and Teddy would have laughed then. He always did.“That doesn’t make them less true,” Teddy would have replied.
Relationships: Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 10
Kudos: 74
Collections: JeddyFest_2020





	The Best Birthday Of His Life

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Tonks914](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tonks914/gifts), [GoldenTruth813](https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenTruth813/gifts).



> Thank you to the lovely Goldentruth813 and the wonderful Tonks914 for organising this fest. You're both legendary.  
> 💕💕

When there was no other alcohol left the flat to drink, Jamie switched to _Glenmorangie_. 

The glass of the bottle was dusty and the trail of stickiness around the cork testimony to how long the whiskey had stood, abandoned, at the back of the pantry. It was supposed to have been a gift for Grandad Arthur, Jamie half-recalled, several years before, but Teddy and he had been too fascinated not to test the Muggle drink out for themselves. 

The drink certainly hadn’t lived up to their expectations and the two wizards had eventually forgotten the bottle existed. There was something acerbic about Muggle whiskey that suited Jamie’s foul mood though; a metallic, unpleasant burn that wizarding alcohol somehow lacked. Jamie sloshed a generous couple of inches into an unwashed glass before he padded though into the Lounge. 

It was April the nineteenth and today was Teddy Lupin’s thirty-first birthday. 

Today was April the nineteenth and James Sirius Potter was a messy, stumbling drunk and all alone in a flat that was horribly, eerily silent. All that he had for company was the sickening combination of Muggle booze and Ogden’s- _fucking_ -Finest tracking steadily though his veins. 

There ought to be a stack of birthday cards above the hearth, the images on their covers dancing and spinning.

There ought to be a steady stream of friends, family and loved ones knocking on their door, bearing armfuls of beautifully-wrapped, enchanted gifts.

Mum ought have baked Teddy one of her six-tier birthday cakes, each layer of icing charmed to replicate exact shade of Teddy’s rainbow hair. 

And Teddy ought to be there, pulling James into his lap at the end of a long, busy day that they’d both enjoyed. 

“The best birthday of my life,” Teddy ought to have said, brushing a series of chaste kisses across Jamie’s jaw and Jamie would have raised an eyebrow at his lover’s predictability. “They’re the same words you use every year,” Jamie would have joked and Teddy would have laughed. He always did. “That doesn’t make them less true,” Teddy would have replied. 

But there weren't any cards. There weren't any friends, or any loved ones calling by. There hadn’t been any cake and there hadn’t been any kisses. Jamie felt the sting of tears blur the edge of his vision and a lump in his throat big enough to choke him. 

Jamie was too drunk not to be lonely and too lonely not to be foolish. 

He placed the whisky glass down on the scruffy, cluttered table with enough force to make the amber liquid splash over the side. Jamie felt his stupid, lonely heart beat in his chest and he seized a handful of floo power in trembling, alcohol-clumsy hands.

He _had_ to try. 

“ _Edward Lupin_ ,” Jamie said, his voice not as confident or as brash as he’d have liked. “Orchid Cottage, Sussex.”

Maybe Teddy wouldn’t be there, Jamie thought, a dozen images cascading madly through his brain. 

After all, it was Teddy's birthday. He’d be out for dinner, perhaps. Maybe Teddy was watching a Quidditch game or perhaps he was visiting the theatre. Jamie felt the searing heat of the flame curling over his cheeks and the sting of the floo power burning his eyes.

He was making a prize fool of himself, proving himself once more to be an utter cretin but Jamie couldn’t seem to bring himself to care. Teddy might even be out with a boyfriend, Jamie realised, holding his hand and laughing at his jokes. The awfulness of the idea made his heart shudder and skip. 

But Teddy wasn’t. As Jamie watched, a shimmering green face formed quickly out of green, sparking flames. Not only was Teddy at home, but he’d answered the firecall. 

Jamie felt his brain and tongue freeze up, as quick as a curse. His legs felt like they’ve been hit with a Jelly-Legs Hex and the alcohol coiled in the bottom of his belly like a poison. Jamie didn't know quite want to do or say. He hadn’t thought this plan out to the extent of actually speaking aloud. 

“That’s you isn’t it Jamie?” Teddy said, his voice as confident and clear as they day they’d shared their first kiss. His eyes darted around the Living Room. “Has something happened?” he asked kindly, tone tinged with concern. “Nothing’s wrong is it?”

Jamie didn’t reply. Everything that he imagined that he might have said sounded trite and maudlin. Jamie could see the slight, stooped form of Teddy’s Nana Andi in the background of the flames, but she was standing, leaving the room. He coughed, willing his words to come but somehow they just wouldn’t. 

“Jamie, I know you’re bloody there!” Teddy continued, his usually warm voice shot though now with annoyance. Jamie could see Teddy’s hair darken in the sparkling green flames. Cauldron grey, Jamie reckoned: always the colour of Teddy’s impatience. “I can see your outline. Come closer to the fire, J! What’s happened? Why on Merlin’s green _bloody_ Earth have you called me?”

Tear tracked down Jamie’s face and he lent forward into the flames. 

“ _The best birthday of your life_ ,” Jamie managed, knowing he sounded idiotic but needing to know with every fibre of his being. “You always say it, Teddy. The exact same phrase. After every single birthday-” 

“Jamie,” Teddy interrupted, narrowing his eyes and looking worried “What are you talking about?”

“The best birthday of your life,” Jamie repeated uselessly. “Every single year! And I always laugh at you! Not every birthday can be the best ever, Teds, but then again, maybe this year it _was?_ And I had to know,” Jamie sniffed, his voice breaking, “if this year it was better?”

Teddy didn’t reply immediately. Jamie supposed that it his ex-partner’s turn to be shocked into silence. Behind Teddy Orchid Cottage was empty and silent. The only sound that Jamie could hear was the racing pulse of his heartbeat. 

“You’re bloody _pissed_ ,” came Teddy’s eventual reply. Jamie could tell that he was trying for curt, trying for dismissive, but Teddy was far too Hufflepuff to ever pull off that act sucessfully. The sheer fact that Teddy would even try for a disinterested tone splintered off a piece of Jamie’s heart. His ex-lover was all benignity, all goodness. “The first time you’ve called me in nearly a whole year and you’re bloody drunk. _Have I had the best birthday of my life?_ Is that the only reason you’ve called?”

Jamie couldn’t deny it. His drinking had been one of several reasons that Teddy had left him. He was heartbroken that their conversation had turned caustic after only a few minutes but even anger was better than the silence of their once-shared home. 

“Jamie. Talk to me. _Please_ ,” Teddy continued. The fake dismissive tone had disappeared now. Teddy’s voice had returned to concerned which suited him far more. Love and concern were the emotional places where his ex-partner was felt safest. “Do you need me to owl Harry? Or Al? You’ve not actually hurt yourself have you?”

Jamie shook his head, knowing full well what a pathetic drunken prat he must look to his ex. 

“It’s your birthday,” Jamie repeated sullenly. “And I’ve spent every single one with you. Even when I was just a silly kid with a crush you’d share it with me! When you went to bloody Hogwarts you’d fucking firecall me!”<'p. 

Jamie stalled. His breathing was harsh in the flames and his eyes were blurry with self-serving tears. There’s every chance that Teddy would just sever their call. Teddy was so mild mannered and gentle. He’d never responded well to Jamie’s arrogant high-handedness and his petulant moods. “I _just_ \- I just want you to talk to me,” he begged. “Talk to me like you always used to, Teds! Just for a minute. That’s all I ask. Please.”

There was a moment of silence then. Teddy’s form went fuzzy as he sat upwards and away from the flames. Jamie took the opportunity to reach for the whisky but his hand stilled around the glass. If Teddy saw him drinking then he’d finish their firecall faster than a Niffler after gold. 

Then, all of a sudden, Teddy was back in the flames. His hair had lightened subtly. A sickly yellow-green, Jamie thought, no doubt about that. Those was the colours his ex-boyfriend always wore when he was mistrustful. Jamie know that he hadn’t given his ex-lover much cause to be open and honest with him. 

“Okay,” Teddy said, his voice resigned. “I’ll talk to you. But not for long, J. I can’t- You _know_ that I can’t do this. It hurts too much. If we talk then we keep it short. A few minutes and that’s it. What is it that want to say?”

Jamie sat there at that, his brain working frantically to think of anything that might keep Teddy’s affable, beautiful face before him. Nothing emerged from his mouth though and Jamie felt his whole body flush with embarrassment.Teddy seemed to sense his anxiousness and began, thankfully, to speak. 

“It’s not been the best birthday of my life,” Teddy said suddenly. His voice was steadier now, resigned. Jamie wondered briefly if Teddy was anxious to get away from his fireplace Was he keen to end their conversation as soon as possible? Jamie didn’t feel strong enough to pursue that chain of thought. If Teddy ended their call now, Jamie had no doubt that he’d shatter into a million, billion pieces. “If that’s still what you wanted to know… _Well_. I suppose it’s been pretty quiet… Nana Andi made me that banana cake that I love. We Apparated to the Manor in the afternoon… Had lunch with Cissa and Draco. We walked around the lake. Harry came around earlier, for an hour. He brought me a couple of slices of Ginny’s rainbow cake and a new Weasley jumper. _Purple_ … There’s not much else to tell-”

Jamie found that he still couldn’t speak. 

It was so, so easy to picture the day that Teddy had spent. He could imagine Teddy in his heavy walking boots, a simple Umbrella charm helping him to avoid the April showers while he walked around the Malfoy Lake. He could envision Teddy’s broad grin as he shrugged his new purple jumper over his head. Teddy would have matched his hair to duplicate the colour, easy as breathing and not even realised he was doing it. 

“Sounds like a good day,” Jamie managed, shifting his position on the hard floor in front of the fireplace. “You wearing that Weasley jumper now, Teds? You know that I’ve always loved you in those big knitted things-”

“You mean you loved _pinching_ them,” Teddy cut in, making a small snort of laughter. The sound cut through Jamie like a _Diffindo_. It was more than he’d dared hope for and Jamie coveted the sound. In twenty-five years, Jamie hasn’t ever known a person who was as easy with laughter as Teddy Lupin was. “Guaranteed. Every single time I was given one. You’d have them on your back quicker than a Goblin visiting his bloody Vault-”

“Because they smelt like _you_ ,” Jamie said, the words falling from him mouth before he could reign them in. “Smelt like that bizarre chrysanthemum shampoo you always insisted upon using. Smelt like your aftershave too… Are you wearing your new purple jumper now, Teddy? And those scruffy jeans that I used to laugh about? You know what, sometimes I wore those too, Teds… I wore your clothes because it felt like your arms were wrapped around me-”

“ _Circe_. Why are you doing this J?” Teddy interrupted. There was a huff of surrender in his tone and Jamie could see that his hair had faded once more. Honey-gold. The colour Teddy always wore whenever he was exhausted. Honey-gold was the colour of memory. “You’re only hurting the both of us-”

“But you’re wearing that jumper?” Jamie insisted, hearing a raw, primal need in his voice. He needed to picture Teddy. Needed to save the image of that purple jumper because it was the closest he’d ever come to feeling the caress of the material beside his skin ever again. “Please, Teds… I need-”

“Bloody hell, yes. _Okay_. I’m wearing the jumper,” Teddy said, voice rough and bittersweet in the flames. “It’s lovely. Well. A little bit itchy actually… So I’ve put on my Weird Sisters tee-shirt on underneath. Mmm. Maybe purple is the wrong word. You’d probably describe it as more of a red-purple. The colour of hibiscus flowers, perhaps-”

“And your jeans?” Jamie asked. “Are you wearing your scruffy ones? With the rainbow patches on the back pockets?”

Teddy sighed, a tiny sound in the silence of the room. Those jeans had been a long-standing joke in their relationship. Teds had worn them on and off since his Hogwarts days and they still fit like they’d been charmed to his skin. He’d brought the rainbow patches in a market in Muggle London and then he’d pasted them in place with a Permanent Sticking Spell. He’d wanted, somehow, to express his sexuality but lacked the words aged only fifteen. 

“Those old things?” Teddy laughed, a shining pearl of a sound. “Chucked them in the bin when I moved out… But I saved the patches though. Stuck them to my pinboard at work. Nope. Sorry to disappoint you. I’m just wearing plain black skinny jeans, J. You’d be bloody proud of me… Finally growing a some semblance of style. Draco’s taken me shopping a few times-”

Jamie made a snort of surprise. He couldn’t imagine his multicoloured hippy of an ex-partner traipsing around Diagon Alley with his old-fashioned cousin by his side. The two wizards were a study in opposites. 

“Don’t sound so shocked,” Teddy continued, a hint of amusement colouring his voice. “I’ve spent a lot of time with that side of my family this past year. Everybody’s been really decent-”

“Even if you just wore plain black wizarding robes for the rest of your days you’d still look lovely,” Jamie replied, his voice shot through with longing. “Just don’t go getting yourself into some Pureblood arranged marriage, Teds. You know how Draco can get about tradition-”

Teddy paused for a moment before he spoke and Jamie regretted his offhand remark immediately. 

“Hardly likely, J. I’m not about to dive down the aisle with the first wizard I meet, whatever else you might bloody believe about me…” Teddy shook his head, silent for a couple of beats. When he finally began to speak, his tone was much more measured. “And I don’t look the least bit _lovely_ , J. I look tired. I’ve got ruddy lines on my face! To be honest, I haven’t done much other than work this past year. Couple more of my broom designs have been taken to the production stage, though… It’s still so exciting to see them in the sky. You remember the _SleekStar 5000?_ A few of the Harpies have agreed to ride them next season. It’s fantastic news for Cassiopeia.”

“Yeah,” Jamie agreed. He already knew every bit of his ex’s happy news. Teddy was a broomstick designer for Cassiopeia Racing Brooms and a jolly good one too. Jamie still scanned the Prophet each and everyday for information about the growing company, inhaling even the smallest pieces of their news as if it were air. “It really is. It sounds like it’s all coming together for you, Teds.”

In the flames, Teddy’s hair darker subtly. Rose pink, Jamie realised. The colour that Teddy’s hair always turned when he was embarrassed. _Merlin_. Jamie had never known another wix as poor at taking a compliment as Teddy was. He had so much to be proud of, yet he was the most self-effacing man in wizarding England. Teddy was so much like Harry in that respect. Both so serene and tranquil. They were the only two men in James’s life that had ever been able to bring him to a place of peace. 

“I hope so,” Teddy murmured, his voice unbearable in its gentleness. “Harry said that you’d done a few shifts with Albus at the wand shop? Al always did say that good help was hard come by… Harry said you were considering a care of magical creatures apprenticeship too. That’s all good news, isn’t it?” 

“None of that matters, though,” Jamie said. “I don’t care what I’m doing with my life, Teds. Nothing works. Nothing feels good without you beside me.”

Teddy made another soft sigh then, a sound that Jamie knew only too well. Teddy had made it a lot in the months before they had parted ways. The gossamer spell between the two of them had broken. “Harry’s worried about you, J. Says that you’re struggling to move on… It’s been almost a year now, Jamie! Eleven months and- Bloody hell!… _This_ is why I said I couldn’t do this! You just can’t _do_ this again, Jamie. Calling me wasn’t fair on either of us! You- You have to let us go.”

“Why do I have to?” Jamie cried out in reply. Tears spilled out unbidden but he didn’t wipe them away. How dare Teddy be so fucking _reasonable_ about the pair of them? As soon as he woke up, every night and every day, Jamie knew that Teddy was all he needed. He loved him. He felt his voice rising sharply as he continued to speak. “You’re the love of my bloody life, Teds. I can’t- I can’t just let us go.”

Jamie watched as Teddy’s hair darkened to mahogany black. The colour of grief. Teddy was devastated by Jamie’s words.

“I left, remember?” Teddy said, his voice as toneless as his hair. “Packed everything into my Hogwarts trunk with an undetectable sodding extension spell and came back to live with Andi. We’re over, J… And I'm sorry. I’m so fucking sorry because I’ve loved you since the day you turned fifteen. You remember that day Jamie? You told me you were ready? That you wanted to kiss me?”

“You told me to piss off,” Jamie said. His voice was pitiable and wet. Tears teemed down his face but Jamie didn’t care a Sickle. “Told me to come back when I was older. And I did, Teddy! I fucking did! I never gave up on us like you have!” He lent further into the fire. He sounded childish, snivelling. Desperate. “Nothing’s changed for me, Teddy. Nothing! I still sleep in that Hufflepuff shirt you gave me for a joke… Our photos still cover every wall. Your fucking honey is still sat in the fridge, waiting for you to spread it on your bloody toast!” Jamie sobbed then. “And all I can think of is your thirtieth birthday, Teddy. How we flooed to Hogsmeade? Ate breakfast in that little wizard cafe? Your lips were shiny from the butter on your toast but I kissed it off… And then we went over to Grimmauld? Dad was _furious_ about that badger tattoo but he still gave you a hug-”

“Harry mentioned it again this morning.” Teddy said softly, wistfully. “Saw it again when I tried on my jumper-”

“And Al and Scorpius brought you that toy _Firebolt_ for a joke and we made it fly around the garden? And we ate pancakes and bloody rainbow cake and then we came home? You were tearing my clothes off as soon as we stepped through fireplace, Teddy. You kissed me everywhere you could reach, and you told me that you’d had the best birthday of your life. You told me you _loved_ , me Teddy! Told me that we were _forever_ … You remember all that, don’t you?”

“I remember everything,” Teddy confirmed. His voice was shaky and as raw as Jamie felt. “Everything.”

Jamie watched as the green, shimmering Teddy wiped away tears of his own. 

“Then come home,” Jamie begged. “I’m your home, Teddy. You don’t belong with Andi, or at the bloody Manor. I’ve always been your safe place. And I know I hurt you… I know you needed more from me, Teddy. Just- Just give me some more time-”

Teddy shook his head furiously. “That’s what you always say, though!” he hissed, voice sharp with tension. “More _time_ to stop drinking. More _time_ before you could make any sort of commitment. Even when we were together I never felt like I held your heart… I love you Jamie! I’ve loved you forever and that was why I had to leave you! You’d gotten distant. Difficult. If I'd have stayed then I’d have begun to begrudge you and I never, ever wanted to do that. You’ve always been my wonderful, beautiful boy, Jamie and I- I couldn’t have you destroy that-”

“Come home,” Jamie begged. He pride and self-respect was ground into dust. He was on his knees, prostrate in the depths of his sorrow. “Come home, Teddy. Please. I let you down… I let us down and I’m sorry. You’ve got everything together, Teds and sometimes I felt like I was playing catch-up with you… I can’t- I _can’t_ make myself be six years older, love. I can’t. I should have talked to you… Communicated better. You told me that we were forever, Teddy… And I should have listened. Please… _Please_. Come home-”

“No,” Teddy interrupted. “You’re bloody drunk. You- You dare call me like this, drunk and begging? This is why we can’t talk, J. I’m sorry- I _can’t_. It’s better like this. I’m sorry, I… Just look after yourself, love. I’m sorry.”

And with those words, Teddy ended the firecall. 

Jamie reached out his hand, thrusting it into the twisting coil of flames as Teddy’s face faded into the cracking flames. He was too late though. All that was left of Teddy were the last fading green sparkles of magic. 

Jamie felt his heart slowly break as they, too, finally vanished. 

Jamie had no idea who he was without Teddy. He’d loved the wizard since before he could speak and now Teddy was gone, gone from his life forever. Teddy, who traced the freckles on his shoulders with a kind, assured finger. Teddy, who fucked him like he was the most beautiful, precious man in the world. Teddy, who knew him better than his parents or his siblings. Teddy, who had taken a piece of his heart and left him bereft. 

Jamie simply couldn't fathom how he could even begin to get over Teddy. 

Slowly, Jamie fumbled back onto his feet. There was still some Glenmorangie left in the bottle. That, at least, would numb him for the rest of the evening. His limbs felt painfully stiff; full of pins and needles. Jamie avoided his face in the mirror as he shuffled slowly back though to the kitchen. He hadn’t cut his hair in months and even shaving charms often felt like too much effort. Al and Pius still came over occasionally, but Jamie knew he was morose much lot of the time. He couldn’t seem to help himself. 

Jamie poured himself a large whiskey before making his sluggish way back into the Living Room. 

The flat around him looked mussy; littered with empty Chocolate Frog boxes and Muggle takeaway boxes. Jamie realised that the simplest housekeeping spell would make his home liveable once more but he didn’t care to cast one. The disorder around Jamie reflected his deep upset within. It had been Teddy that brought colour into their home and into their life. 

Jamie drained his whiskey in a single sour gulp before dropping the glass onto the floor. 

~@~

When Jamie jolted awake, Teddy was sat on the floor beside their settee. 

“You’ve woken up,” Teddy said, his voice warm and tender. “You looked so peaceful, J. I should have awoken you when you came through the floo, but I couldn’t bear too. I’ve always loved watching you sleeping.”

The wizard looked perfectly beautiful and Jamie felt the aching sting of tears once more. Teddy’s hair was a subtle shade of pastel yellow: the colour that signified true, unabashed adoration. The Weasley jumper Teddy wore was indeed the colour of hibiscus flowers and the black jeans Teddy wore were far too formal and Malfoyish for Jamie’s liking. 

He squeezed his eyes closed, hoping against hope that this vision wasn’t some dream, conjured from the alcohol still churning through his gut. 

But when Jamie opened his eyes, Teddy was still sat there, as real as life and twice as wonderful. This Teddy was different to his fevered imaginings of earlier, though. There were new lines around Teddy’s misty grey eyes and he was far skinnier that Jamie remembered. There was a new wariness too. A new sense of caution. 

“Why are you here?” Jamie managed, his whole body shaking with an urgent need to reach out and take Teddy in his arms. His voice shook and Jamie knew, without a doubt, that if he tried to stand he would fall. “You said we were over.”

“That I did,” Teddy replied. His voice was fragile, achingly real. “But I’m here now. I’ve come home. D’you know why every birthday was always the best one of my life, J?”

Jamie could hardly speak. He reached out, taking Teddy’s hand in his own. Well-known, wand calloused fingers gripped his own and Jamie felt a sudden sense of peace. 

“Because _all_ of those birthdays were spent with you, lovely.” The lines around Teddy’s eyes crinkled and his grey eyes searched Jamie’s, connecting them and bringing them together. As Jamie watched they transformed into the azure Weasley blue of his own. “I’m home, Jamie. Forever, if you’ll have me. And being here… Being beside you? That makes this the best birthday of my life.”

“You always say that,” Jamie stuttered, feeling Teddy’s familiar magic flood his senses.

“Well. That doesn’t make it less true,” Teddy answered.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading xxxx


End file.
